The Office

"The truth is always stranger than fiction, and way more dangerous."

"I've been places you wouldn't believe and done things you couldn't imagine."

"Love is overrated. Indifference is underrated."

"Family is what you make it, sometimes literally."

"I don't believe in rules. Rules are for people who can't think."

"Time moves differently when you're watching it."

"The key to happiness is low expectations."

"I've seen a lot of things in my time, most of them illegal."

"Success means different things to different people. For me, it's survival."

"Real friends are the ones who don't ask too many questions."

"Life is like a box of chocolates, except way weirder."

"Experience is the best teacher, prison is the second best."

"I trust no one, including myself."

"The best moments in life are the ones you don't plan for."

"Work is what you do when you have nothing better to do."

"I've learned that people are basically good, unless they're not."

"Money doesn't buy happiness, but it sure doesn't hurt."

"Sometimes you gotta take a step back to move forward."

"I'm not superstitious, but I am a little stitious."

"The secret to a good life is knowing when to keep your mouth shut."

"I've been alive for a long time, and I've seen things that would make your head spin."

"Life is what you make of it."

"Happiness is found in small moments."

"Humor is how we cope with reality."

"Dreams are the blueprint of our future."

"Work gives life meaning."

"Leadership is service to others."

"Faith is the bridge between doubt and certainty."

"Music transcends all boundaries."

"Science is the study of the natural world."