The Office

"Pam is pregnant. Pam is having a baby."

"The best way to make a good decision is to never doubt yourself."

"I have a gun for protection."

"In the wise words of Michael Scott: You miss one hundred percent of the shots you don't take."

"The German education system is superior to that of the United States."

"I am never sick. I am, in fact, more alive than I have ever been."

"Beets are the most noble of all root vegetables."

"One day, you will be Jello'd, my friend."

"I have been training for this my entire life."

"Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines."

"I am the fastest gun in the west."

"Fighting is not a sin; it's a privilege."

"What's the most important thing in a friendship? Trust. And I would never jeopardize that."

"I did not expect to survive. But I have survived. And thrived."

"That's what she said."

"Fear is the path to the dark side."

"I am not just a hard worker; I am the hardest worker."

"Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen."

"I want to make love to you, but first I must ascertain your level of commitment."

"The key to a great garden is preparation."

"I could bench press a small Asian man."

"Blood oath? You don't take those lightly."

"I am an excellent driver."

"A person is smart. People are dumb."

"The secret's in the sauce."

"I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany."

"FACT: Bears are carnivores."

"I wake up every morning in a bed that's too small, drive my daughter to a school that's too far, and then I go to work to a job for which I get paid too little."

"False. That is false. Fact."

"I'm not superstitious, but I am a little stitious."