The Office

"Perseverance is doing something until you forget why you started."

"Death is nature's way of telling you to stop working."

"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Mine are going."

"Dreams are just thoughts you have while you're sleeping and drooling."

"Work is what you do when you don't want to do something else."

"A true leader knows when to take charge and when to let chaos reign."

"Faith is believing in things you can't see. Like my retirement fund."

"Music is the universal language. I speak at least three dialects."

"I don't understand science, but I respect it."

"Art is subjective. So is my past."

"Nature is beautiful. It's also full of things that can kill you."

"Peace comes from within. Also from outside sources. Mostly outside sources."

"Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose, but you keep the regrets anyway."

"The truth is whatever you can convince people to believe."

"Time flies when you're having fun. Time also flies when you're unconscious."

"Friendship is like a pair of socks. You lose one, and you're left with a drawer full of useless ones."

"I've been in love three times. Or was it four? I lose count."

"The secret to happiness is low expectations and a high tolerance for weird smells."

"Never trust a fart."

"I'm not superstitious, but I am a little stitious."

"The key to success is showing up every day and pretending you know what you're doing."

"Life is short. Eat the good snacks first."

"I've seen things that would make your head spin. Literally. I knew a guy."

"You don't need a lot of money to be happy. You just need to know where to find it."

"I've been alive for a long time, and I've learned that the best things in life are the ones that don't cost you anything."

"The only time I set the bar low is for the world record in limbo."

"Solitude helps us reconnect with who we really are."

"Relationships thrive on consistency and trust."

"Inspiration comes to those who are actively seeking."

"Motivation is temporary; discipline is permanent."