The Office

"Success is 99% just showing up."

"I don't care about winning. I just care about making sure other people lose."

"History repeats itself because nobody was listening the first time."

"I've been alone for so long, I forgot what it was like to be lonely."

"The secret to life is pretending you have all the answers."

"I'm suspicious of anyone who finds life easy."

"Time is the only thing that matters."

"Love is a chemical reaction in the brain. So is madness."

"I have an excellent memory. I remember everything that's not important."

"Books are better than people. People are terrible."

"I've learned to live with rejection. It's not so bad once you stop caring."

"The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese."

"I'm not a perfectionist. I just have standards."

"Money doesn't buy happiness, but it does buy crossword puzzles."

"Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it."

"I have committed to nothing."

"The world is full of idiots, and I mean that in the nicest way possible."

"You can't fake chemistry. Either it's there or it's not."

"I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you've actually left them."

"Persistence is key to success."

"I don't believe in aliens. But I do believe in the moon."

"That's what makes it so much more fun to drive fast."

"I'm not a hero. I'm just a guy who showed up and did his job."

"Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get."

"A woman is like a fine wine. They both give me a headache."

"Sometimes the only way forward is to forget the past."

"I don't have a lot of experience with vampires, but I don't think they can just walk around in the daytime."

"Every day I think people can read the disappointment on my face."

"Work is a blessing and a curse."

"I have no idea what I'm doing."