The Office

"I think the saddest thing about a person is they don't remember to remember."

"This is the best day of my life."

"I'm not superstitious, but I believe in a lot of things."

"Why are you the way that you are?"

"I'm not a women's advocate."

"I have a dream that one day all people will be treated equally."

"Oscar, I'm sorry. I misspelled your name on the gift bag."

"I'm okay with being the guy everyone makes fun of."

"Lazy screwheads."

"I have two loves in this world: my family and paper."

"I'm not a smart man, but I know what I like."

"Everything I have I owe to this job."

"I love being pregnant."

"Books are useless! I only ever read one book, 'To Kill a Mockingbird,' and it wasn't even good."

"I'm not offended by homosexuality. In the '60s, I made love to many, many women, often outdoors."

"I am Beyoncé, always."

"The secret's out: I'm not very good at my job."

"I'm not a paper salesman. I'm a friend first, salesman second, and probably an entertainer third."

"I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you've actually left them."

"Sometimes I'll start a sentence and I don't even know where it's going. I just hope I find it along the way."

"I'm not great at the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?"

"Whenever I'm about to do something, I think, would an idiot do that? And if they would, I do not do that thing."

"I've always wanted to go to Sandals Jamaica."

"I'm running away from my responsibilities. And it feels good."

"You miss 100% of the shots you don't take."

"I just want to lie on the beach and eat hot dogs. That's all I've ever wanted."

"That's what she said."

"I'm not superstitious, but I am a little stitious."

"Technology is making everything worse."

"Imagination got me into trouble as a kid. I've learned to avoid it."