The Office

"Adventure sounds exhausting."

"Health insurance is my only real relationship."

"Power is an illusion. Money is real."

"The only thing worse than fear is false hope."

"Strength is accepting that you're trapped and making peace with it."

"Kindness is for people who don't understand the world."

"Patience is something I've run out of."

"Justice is blind, which is how most people get away with things."

"Creativity is fine if it doesn't interfere with productivity."

"I'm grateful for pretzel day and little else."

"Perseverance is just refusing to admit defeat."

"Death is the one promotion I'm actually looking forward to."

"Beauty fades. Money doesn't."

"If I'm not laughing, I'm crying, so I choose to laugh."

"Dreams are what fool you into believing things can change."

"Work is the price you pay to avoid thinking about your life."

"A good leader stays out of my way."

"I have faith in one thing: myself. And even that's shaky."

"Music is noise that helps pass the time."

"Science can't explain human stupidity."

"Art requires talent I don't have and patience I lost."

"Nature is outside. I prefer inside with air conditioning."

"Peace is a myth. There's always someone ruining it."

"You're only free if you have money."

"The truth is that most people are lying all the time."

"Time is what I'm counting down until retirement."

"Knowledge isn't power if nobody listens to you."

"The only constant in life is disappointment."

"Courage is just doing what you have to do because you have no choice."

"Hope is dangerous. It keeps you from accepting reality."