The Office

"Beauty is on the inside, which is unfortunate for most people."

"Humor is the only way to survive this place."

"Dreams are what keep you from succeeding."

"Work is what keeps me from thinking about my life."

"A leader is someone who makes bad decisions with confidence."

"Faith is for people who can't accept reality."

"Music is just noise with a beat."

"Science can't explain why I'm still here."

"Art is a waste of office space."

"Nature? I prefer air conditioning."

"Peace is just silence before someone ruins it."

"Freedom means getting to leave work early. That's all I want."

"The truth? Nobody wants to hear it."

"Time flies when you're miserable."

"Knowledge is power, but power is useless here."

"I didn't go to college, and I turned out fine. Sort of."

"Change is inevitable, unfortunately."

"You need courage? Just stop caring what anyone thinks."

"Hope is for people without common sense."

"Family? More like a burden."

"Love is a waste of time and energy."

"The key to success is showing up and not saying anything."

"I've seen a lot of people work in this office. Most of them are idiots."

"Money doesn't buy happiness, but it sure doesn't hurt."

"You know what? Forget it. I'm done pretending to care."

"Pam and Jim sitting in a tree? I couldn't care less."

"I don't care what people think. I never have."

"Why does everyone have to be so fake? Just be yourself."

"I've been doing this for twelve years. That's my life."

"Pretzel day is the only thing keeping me going anymore."