The Office

"Happiness is a myth sold by advertising."

"I've seen the best and worst of humanity at Dunder Mifflin."

"Every action has consequences. Choose wisely."

"You can't hurt me. I don't have feelings."

"I don't need friends. I need order."

"People are problems. I solve problems."

"This job is thankless. Which is why I'm perfect for it."

"I've been divorced twice. I know about failure."

"Rules exist for a reason. I am that reason."

"You're not qualified to judge me."

"I am the most qualified person in this building."

"Power corrupts. I'm already corrupted, so no risk."

"Fear keeps people in line. That's useful."

"Courage is doing what's right regardless of consequences."

"Gratitude is a sign of weakness in business."

"Death is the only certainty. Everything else is negotiable."

"Beauty fades. Efficiency is eternal."

"Knowledge is power. I have both."

"Education teaches you how to think."

"Family is complicated. So is HR."

"Friendship is a liability."

"Inspiration is fleeting. Commitment is permanent."

"Motivation comes from within. Discipline comes from me."

"Leadership is making hard decisions others won't make."

"Imagination is fine for children. Adults need facts."

"Justice is subjective. Power is absolute."

"War is what happens when diplomacy fails."

"Politics is a necessary evil."

"Technology is a tool. Tools can be weapons."

"History repeats itself because people don't learn."