The Simpsons

"Perseverance separates the mediocre from the truly dedicated homicidal maniac."

"Death is nature's way of saying hello, repeatedly and without warning."

"Beauty exists in the most unexpected places, including murder scenes."

"Dreams sustain us through the darkest hours, particularly those involving vengeance."

"Work provides meaning to one's existence, even when that work involves mayhem."

"Leadership requires vision, determination, and an acceptable body count."

"Science and reason are humanity's greatest achievements, after Shakespeare, of course."

"Music has the power to soothe the savage beast, though I remain largely unsoothed."

"Nature teaches us harsh lessons about survival and adaptation."

"Peace comes to those who make it, often violently."

"Freedom is the most precious gift, which is why I work tirelessly to achieve it."

"The truth, while often painful, is essential to understanding one's purpose."

"Patience is a virtue I have cultivated over many years of careful plotting."

"Love is blind, much like the guards who fail to see my escape plans."

"Success is measured not in dollars, but in the tears of one's enemies."

"Family is everything, particularly when one has nothing else."

"The pursuit of knowledge knows no bounds, as does my pursuit of Homer Simpson."

"Friendship is a bond that transcends bars, walls, and judicial restraints."

"Time is but a construct, easily suspended by careful planning and explosives."

"Hope springs eternal, though so do my escape attempts."

"Art and violence need not be mutually exclusive endeavors."

"The human spirit is remarkably resilient, much like a well-constructed bear trap."

"Revenge is a dish best served cold, preferably with a well-timed rake in the face."

"One must appreciate the finer things in life, even when one is incarcerated."

"Education is the cornerstone of civilization, though I confess mine was rather interrupted by prison."

"The path to righteousness is often paved with good intentions, though mine are merely paved with corpses."

"Attempted murder? Now honestly, what is that? Do they give a Nobel Prize for attempted chemistry?"

"Solitude's when a man finds himself."

"Relationships require constant tending."

"Ye inspire others by yer example."