The Simpsons

"I've perfected the art of achieving nothing meaningful."

"My ambition is as limitless as my bank account."

"I haven't felt genuine emotion since the '50s, and good riddance."

"Excellent plan. I'll take all the credit and none of the blame."

"I shall live forever through my fortune if not through love."

"The masses exist to serve my purposes."

"I've turned ruthlessness into an art form."

"Mortality is the only thing that truly scares me."

"I would sell my soul, but the devil owes me money."

"True power is making others believe they're free."

"I've built my empire on the broken dreams of others."

"The secret to happiness is not giving a damn."

"I measure my success in the suffering of others."

"Forgiveness is a weakness I've engineered out of myself."

"I've made patience my enemy and cruelty my friend."

"The pursuit of justice is for those with free time."

"I shall create my own religion based on money."

"Smithers, have the happiness squad destroy fun."

"Love is a burden I've successfully avoided."

"I've spent billions ensuring my legacy of greed."

"Wisdom comes from defeating your enemies."

"The only truth worth knowing is my net worth."

"I'll fire whoever suggests I've mellowed with age."

"Kindness is a sign of weakness that I've extinguished."

"The world is divided into the powerful and the powerless."

"I am not a vegetarian, yet I have a distinct lack of humanity."

"Persistence in evil is my greatest achievement."

"Freedom means freedom to exploit."

"Change is acceptable only if it benefits me."

"Hope is a luxury I've never indulged in."