The Simpsons

"History is written by the victors, and I plan to be victorious."

"Technology is a tool for progress, or for creating more efficient traps."

"Imagination is the only limit, and I have a very unimaginative imagination."

"Adventure awaits those brave enough to pursue their darkest desires."

"Health is important for longevity, particularly in the execution of long-term revenge."

"Money is useful, but it pales in comparison to the wealth of vengeance."

"Humor is the best medicine, unless the cure is actually rat poison."

"Dreams are the foundation of ambition, nightmares are the foundation of revenge."

"Work ethic matters, especially when one's work is elaborate criminal scheming."

"Leadership requires the respect of those around you, or at least their fear."

"Creativity flourishes when one has unlimited time in a cell to plan."

"Gratitude is a virtue, though revenge is far more satisfying."

"Every setback is merely a setup for an even more elaborate comeback."

"Literature's greatest gift is showing us the tragic flaws in our enemies."

"Philosophy teaches us that morality is subjective and revenge is eternal."

"Science has given us many gifts, primarily in the field of weaponry."

"Music soothes the savage beast, though I prefer the sound of suffering."

"Nature provides endless inspiration for torture devices and elaborate traps."

"Peace is merely the absence of my current plans for revenge."

"Freedom means nothing without the opportunity to pursue one's darker ambitions."

"Truth, while important, is often less satisfying than a perfectly crafted lie."

"Change is inevitable, much like my repeated return to criminal enterprise."

"Courage is not the absence of fear, but the willingness to face your enemies regardless."

"Hope is a dangerous thing in prison, but a useful thing outside of it."

"The beauty of a well-executed plan lies in its intricate details and meticulous cruelty."

"A man of culture must appreciate both the arts and the art of the perfect ambush."

"Time is the greatest teacher, second only to imprisonment."

"In the pursuit of knowledge, there are no shortcuts, only long and winding paths of scholarly vengeance."

"True friendship requires shared intellectual pursuits and complementary evil intentions."

"The path to success is paved with the downfall of one's enemies."