The Simpsons

"Gratitude is for the weak."

"Perseverance means never giving up on your victim."

"Death? More like a temporary inconvenience."

"Beauty fades, but a good prank is eternal."

"Laughter is the best medicine—unless it's at someone's expense."

"My dreams are made of chaos and cartoon physics."

"Work hard at being the worst."

"A good leader knows when to escalate the violence."

"I have faith in my ability to cause destruction."

"Music to my ears is the sound of a cat in distress."

"Science proves that pain is hilariously funny."

"Art is the expression of one's darkest impulses."

"Nature's canvas is best painted with paint... and TNT."

"Peace is just the quiet before I attack."

"Freedom is the right to pursue vengeance without limits."

"The truth is whatever makes the best explosion."

"Time flies when you're having infinite fun."

"The only knowledge that matters is how to get even."

"School teaches you how to commit better crimes."

"Change comes to those who swing an axe."

"Real courage is facing down a cat with a dynamite plunger."

"There's always hope... for more chaos."

"Family quarrels are the most satisfying kind."

"A true friend stabs you in the back with style."

"Success means getting away with the crime."

"The best part of waking up is the sound of screaming."

"Love is just another word for 'target practice.'"

"Life's too short not to enjoy the finer things—like revenge."

"Every day is an opportunity to cause maximum damage."

"Why use words when a mallet works just fine?"