The Simpsons

"The only philosophy that matters is 'might makes right.'"

"I am the maker of history, one gag at a time."

"Technology can't match good old-fashioned brutality."

"Imagine the possibilities with enough explosives."

"Adventure is what happens between violent encounters."

"Immortality through cartoon logic beats healthcare any day."

"Money spent on weapons is money well invested."

"Power without responsibility is absolute freedom."

"Fear makes prey taste sweeter."

"True strength breaks all bones equally."

"Kindness is the enemy's greatest weakness."

"Patience is weakness dressed up as virtue."

"Justice tastes like victory over that cat."

"Creative destruction is my calling."

"I'm grateful for one thing: cartoon immortality."

"Never quit, never surrender, never show mercy."

"Death is just a brief pause in my torment."

"Beauty is in the eye of the one holding the weapon."

"I dream in high definition violence."

"Hard work means devising new torture methods."

"Good leaders inspire—I prefer to intimidate."

"Faithfully committed to chaos."

"My theme song is the best part of my day."

"The science of suffering is my specialty."

"Art imitates me—a beautiful cycle of violence."

"Nature's cruelty is my inspiration."

"The peaceful life is the boring life."

"Freedom to hit things as hard as I want."

"Time waits for no mouse, but I will."

"Knowledge is power—except when that power is directed at me."