The Simpsons

"The key to happiness is having the right tie for every occasion."

"Time waits for no man, but it does wait for commercial breaks."

"A newsman must remain objective, which is why I only report on things I agree with."

"I've been in this business long enough to know: never let facts get in the way of a good story."

"The American people deserve to know what I think they should know."

"Success in broadcasting requires commitment, talent, and really good dental work."

"Love is a many-splendored thing, but it's no match for a good haircut."

"I didn't become a trusted news source by questioning authority."

"In this crazy world, a man's hair is his greatest asset."

"Live long and prosper... wait, wrong network."

"As a news anchor, I've learned that the truth is whatever people believe it to be."

"I'm Kent Brockman, and I'll be honest with you - that's what I do."

"Success is knowing you did your best."

"Love makes us do crazy things, and that's okay."

"Wisdom comes from living, not just thinking."

"Relationships need work, but they're worth it."

"Find inspiration in the everyday - it's everywhere."

"Stay motivated by remembering why you started."

"War is when we forget we're all human."

"Politics divides, but people unite."

"Books are windows into other worlds and minds."

"Philosophy teaches us to think deeper about everything."

"Those who don't learn history are doomed to repeat it."

"Technology's great, but human connection is greater."

"Imagination is the only limit we got."

"Life's an adventure worth living fully."

"Take care of your body - it's the only one you got."

"Money's just a tool - it's what you do with it that counts."

"The greatest power is the power to forgive."

"Don't let fear write your story."