The Simpsons

"Faith is hoping things will get better. They won't, but it's nice to hope."

"Art is subjective. Unlike our clear, objective superiority over most people."

"Nature is nice, I guess. But give us a bar and a drink any day."

"Peace? That's for people without problems."

"Freedom means doing whatever we want, whenever we want. Which is usually nothing."

"Time flies when you're miserable."

"Knowledge is power, but so is complaining."

"You can't change who you are, no matter how hard you try."

"Happiness is a warm cigarette and a cold drink."

"The truth is, we're just trying to get through each day without strangling each other."

"Success is a state of mind. Unfortunately, our minds are usually focused on disappointment."

"We may not have found true love, but we have each other. That's something, right?"

"Working at the DMV has taught me one thing: patience is overrated."

"A cigarette a day keeps the doctor away. Or something like that."

"Marge got all the good hair genes. We got stuck with the attitude."

"Life's too short to waste it on men who don't appreciate us."

"Another failed romance. But that's okay, there's always next time... or the time after that... or the time after that."

"We're twins, which means we share the same DNA. Unfortunately, we also share the same bad luck."

"I'm not saying I'm the best cop, but I'm the Chief."

"Imagination is the greatest gift."

"Adventure awaits those brave enough to seek it."

"Health is the foundation of happiness."

"Money is a tool, not a god."

"Power should be used responsibly."

"Fear is a natural response, not a weakness."

"Strength comes from within."

"Kindness creates a better world."

"Patience is rewarded with results."

"Justice must be swift and decisive."

"Creativity flows from a free mind."