The Simpsons

"Love is patient, love is kind, but my love for Mr. Burns transcends all earthly understanding."

"I've dedicated my life to one man's vision, and I regret nothing."

"Success is nothing without someone to share it with, preferably Mr. Burns."

"Mr. Burns, you're like a father to me... a very wealthy, powerful father whom I worship."

"Peace is what I'll find when I finally disappear."

"Freedom is just the privilege of being miserable independently."

"Truth hurts, especially when the truth is that you're a loser."

"Time flies when you're having fun. My time just crawls."

"Knowing something is hard. Being something is harder. I'm neither."

"Learning never stops, just like my disappointments."

"Change is the only constant, especially in my rejection status."

"Courage is not the absence of fear; it's being afraid and doing it anyway. I'm just afraid."

"Hope springs eternal, even in the breasts of nerdy kids."

"Family is forever, unfortunately and fortunately."

"The best friends are those who stick with you. Mine don't even start."

"Success breeds success, and failure breeds more failure. I'm very successful at failing."

"Happiness is fleeting, like everyone who meets me."

"Love is a many-splendored thing that I'll never experience."

"Life is what happens while you're making other plans... that also fail."

"Solitude is fine until you realize you're alone because of who you are."

"Relationships require vulnerability. I'm just vulnerable without the relationship."

"Inspiration is everywhere if you look for it. I stopped looking."

"Motivation is something successful people have. I have anxiety instead."

"War and peace are both terrible. Like my love life."

"Politics and dating have one thing in common—I don't understand either."

"Literature lets you live other lives. Lives better than mine."

"Philosophy teaches us about existence, which in my case is suffering."

"History repeats itself, and so do my failures."

"Technology changes fast, but my problems stay the same."

"Imagination is unlimited, unlike my actual possibilities."