The Simpsons

"Adventure awaits those brave enough to seek it. I'll stay home."

"Health is wealth, and I'm bankrupt on both counts."

"Money can't buy love, but it can buy things to make you forget about love."

"Power corrupts, but I have no power, so I'm pure by default."

"Fear is the mind killer, but my mind is already dead."

"Strength doesn't come from muscles; it comes from not crying every day. I'm working on it."

"Kindness is free, but rejection is expensive and I pay often."

"Patience is a virtue. I am not virtuous."

"Justice is blind, which explains why no one sees me."

"Creativity comes from pain, and I'm very creative."

"Gratitude is hard when you have nothing to be grateful for... except I'm alive, I guess."

"Perseverance is trying even though you keep failing. I'm an expert."

"Death is the only thing that sounds better than another day of this."

"Beauty standards exist to make sure I'll never meet them."

"Humor is a coping mechanism. I cope a lot."

"Dreams are what happen when you sleep, unlike my life."

"Work is how you spend most of your life not living."

"Leadership is about inspiring others. I just inspire pity."

"Faith is believing in something you can't see. Like my self-esteem."

"Music makes the world go round, but my world spins backward."

"Science is cool, but I'm not cool, so there's a conflict."

"Art is expression, and I express myself by being a loser."

"Nature is beautiful when you're not being chased through it."

"Peace comes to those who stop caring. I care too much about not being cared for."

"Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose, but I lose everything anyway."

"Truth is subjective, unlike my failure, which is objective."

"Time is a river, and I'm drowning in it."

"Knowledge is like a glasses prescription—it helps you see, but it makes you look like a nerd."

"Education is important, but so is being cool, and you can't have both."

"Change is inevitable. So is me staying the same."