The Simpsons

"A true friend is someone who doesn't judge you for your third cocktail before noon."

"Success is measured in happy hours survived, not promotions earned."

"Happiness is a warm martini and no parent-teacher conferences."

"The key to wisdom is knowing when to pour another drink."

"Love is just a word people use to justify their poor decisions."

"Life is what happens when you're too tired to make other plans."

"I've been teaching long enough to know that the only thing worse than a student who doesn't pay attention is a student who actually does."

"Don't be afraid to be yourself."

"I have more strength than people think."

"Be kind to everyone, even me."

"Patience is a virtue I don't have."

"I prefer being with others."

"Relationships take work."

"I'm inspired by people who are kind."

"I'm motivated by wanting to be liked."

"War is the worst thing."

"I don't follow politics."

"Literature shows us how to live."

"Philosophy makes my brain hurt."

"History teaches us about ourselves."

"Technology will change everything."

"My imagination is my best friend."

"Adventures are what life is about."

"I need to take better care of my health."

"Money can't buy happiness."

"I have power when I'm with my friends."

"Fear keeps us from doing great things."

"I'm stronger than I think I am."

"Kindness costs nothing."

"I'm going to be patient from now on."