The Simpsons

"The only thing my family gives me is more reasons to drink."

"Friendship among teachers? We're all too miserable to bond."

"I've seen worse essays, but not by much."

"Ralph Wiggum is the living proof that not everyone can succeed."

"These test scores are lower than my expectations, and those were already rock bottom."

"Another spelling test, another day of disappointment."

"Solitude is my favorite subject."

"Relationships are complicated. Unlike alcohol—that's simple."

"Inspiration? I'll let you know if I ever find it."

"Motivation comes from a paycheck twice a month."

"War is what teaching feels like."

"Politics in education is as bad as politics everywhere."

"Literature is an escape. I prefer drinking."

"Philosophy would be nice if I had time to think about it."

"History repeats itself. Like my life."

"Technology is just another way for kids to avoid learning."

"Imagination is wasted on a curriculum."

"Adventure is what happens when you leave Springfield."

"Health is something I traded for this job."

"Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy alcohol."

"Power corrupts, but lack of power is more frustrating."

"Fear is what I feel every morning before school starts."

"Strength comes from knowing when to stop caring."

"Kindness is great, but it won't raise test scores."

"Patience is a virtue I've perfected through sheer necessity."

"Justice in schools? That's hilarious."

"Creativity is wasted on children who don't appreciate it."

"Gratitude is something students will never understand."

"Perseverance is what keeps me showing up every day despite everything."

"Death might be a vacation from this job."