The Simpsons

"Beauty fades. So did my hopes for a better life."

"I find humor in other people's misery. Especially if it's a student's."

"Dreams? Mine left me around 1997."

"Work is what happens when you don't have enough money to retire."

"A good leader knows when to delegate. I delegate everything."

"Faith? I lost that around my second year of teaching."

"Music is the only thing that makes this job bearable."

"Science doesn't interest me. Neither do most people."

"Art is subjective. Like my grading."

"Nature is nice. So are long vacations."

"Peace is something I'll never find in a public school."

"Freedom would be a class that actually pays attention."

"The truth is, I'm in this job for the pension."

"Time moves slower in a classroom than anywhere else on Earth."

"Knowledge is power, but these kids don't want either."

"Change is inevitable. Mostly for the worse."

"Courage is what you need to face a classroom full of fourth-graders."

"Hope? That's what keeps me coming back every Monday morning."

"Family is what you're stuck with when you can't afford to live alone."

"Friendship is overrated. I prefer solitude and wine."

"Success? That's for people who don't work with children."

"You can't teach passion to these kids. They don't have any."

"Happiness is just a fleeting moment between catastrophes."

"Wisdom comes from experience, and I've experienced enough disappointment for ten lifetimes."

"Some days I think about quitting. Then I remember I need the money."

"Life's a grind, and I'm stuck on the wheel."

"The only thing worse than a bad student is a parent defending that student."

"Teaching: the profession where you're never appreciated and always exhausted."

"Why do I even bother? They won't remember any of this anyway."

"These children are slowly killing me."