The Simpsons

"I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes."

"True friendship is like peeing yourself: everyone can see it, but only you feel the warmth."

"Every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain."

"I'm not drunk, I'm just emotionally unstable."

"Moe, I need your advice. Should I go for looks or intelligence?"

"I once tried to stop drinking, but then I realized I was just wasting valuable drinking time."

"You know, I've learned something today: nothing."

"I'm a sensitive man."

"The problem with the world today is that everyone is always seeking happiness on the outside."

"Pukahontas!"

"I'm not a bad guy, I'm just a guy who makes bad decisions."

"To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems."

"Woo-hoo!"

"*gazes toward tomorrow*"

"Love conquers everything"

"Life is a precious gift"

"*smiles with wisdom*"

"Humor heals all wounds"

"*dreams big dreams*"

"Family bonds are eternal"

"Friends are family you choose"

"*achieves goals quietly*"

"Knowledge is infinite"

"Learning never stops"

"Freedom is precious"

"Truth is simple and pure"

"Every moment counts"

"*glows with beauty*"

"Facing fear builds character"

"Inner strength is invisible"