The Simpsons

"You can't buy talent, but you can hire it!"

"I love my fans, but their money is what I really love!"

"The secret to success is knowing who to step on to get there!"

"I've been through more comebacks than Jackie Robinson!"

"You want to be funny? Live a funny life!"

"Comedy is my religion, and the audience is my congregation!"

"I've never met a sponsor I didn't love!"

"Life is a three-ring circus, and I'm the ringmaster!"

"You gotta fake it till you make it, then fake it some more!"

"I love the spotlight more than I love sleep!"

"The key to staying relevant is adapting and advertising!"

"Entertainment is a art form, and I'm a master!"

"I've made mistakes, but they were profitable mistakes!"

"You can't teach comedy; you can only learn from the best!"

"I've been imitated, but never duplicated!"

"The world is my stage, and the stage is my world!"

"You want to know about love? I love my career!"

"Laughter is contagious, and I'm patient zero!"

"I've weathered every storm this business could throw at me!"

"You gotta grab life by the juggling pins and make it work!"

"I didn't become famous by playing it safe!"

"The secret is to be yourself, but funnier!"

"I've seen trends come and go, but Krusty is forever!"

"Life's too short not to laugh at everything!"

"You can't fake charisma, but you can fake a lot of other things!"

"I love this job more than I love myself!"

"The audience is fickle, but their money is real!"

"I've been married more times than I can remember!"

"You want to be a star? Work hard, get lucky, and know the right people!"

"Comedy is about finding the truth in the ridiculous!"