The Simpsons

"I've had more feuds than friends, but I'm still here!"

"Give the people what they want, and they'll give you money!"

"The truth is, I don't know what I'm doing half the time!"

"I've been blacklisted, whitewashed, and everything in between!"

"Entertainment is my life, my love, my everything!"

"You gotta keep moving forward or you'll be forgotten!"

"I'm a legend in my own mind, and that's all that matters!"

"The key to longevity is reinvention and good lawyers!"

"Comedy is a numbers game, and I'm winning!"

"I've never met a bad cigar or a bad business deal!"

"Failure is just success wearing a different makeup!"

"You can't buy experience, but you can certainly earn it!"

"The world needs laughter, and I'm the man to provide it!"

"I've faced bankruptcy three times and I'm still here!"

"Show business is a beautiful thing, if you survive it!"

"Never trust a partner, but always trust your accountant's accountant!"

"I love making people smile, as long as they're buying my products!"

"You want to know the secret of comedy? Timing! Always timing!"

"The Krusty brand means quality and entertainment!"

"I've been a star for so long, I don't remember being anything else!"

"Dreams are nice, but money is better!"

"You gotta have thick skin in this business, or a good plastic surgeon!"

"Laughter is the best medicine, and I'm the best pharmacist!"

"The audience is always right, except when they're wrong about me!"

"I've been through ups and downs, but mostly ups!"

"Time is money, so don't waste my time!"

"You can't fake being funny; you either got it or you don't!"

"I love my work more than I love my kids, probably!"

"The secret to success is showing up, preferably on time!"

"Loyalty is everything in this business, well, almost everything!"