The Simpsons

"The truth is, I'm only interested in the truth that sells."

"Success requires dedication, talent, and excellent elocution."

"Happiness is a 7 p.m. news slot with high viewership."

"The secret to wisdom is admitting you already have it."

"Love at first sight is like finding the perfect story angle."

"I've seen things that would make a grown man weep - like a ratings drop."

"Nature is beautiful, but not as beautiful as a perfectly-lit studio."

"Peace is what happens between breaking news alerts."

"Power comes to those who control the narrative."

"Kindness is underrated in competitive broadcasting."

"Patience is waiting for the weather segment."

"Justice must be served with proper grammar."

"Creativity in journalism means finding new ways to present the same story."

"Gratitude is showing appreciation to those who keep you on air."

"Perseverance is what separates anchor-men from anchor-boys."

"Death and taxes are certain, but my contracts have clauses."

"Beauty fades, but a good news anchor's legacy endures."

"Humor is a tool, like my smile."

"Dreams are what drive us to be better broadcasters."

"Work hard, stay focused, and never miss your cue."

"Leadership is knowing when to speak and when to let your hair speak for you."

"Faith in oneself is the greatest faith of all."

"Music soothes the soul, but a good news story excites it."

"Science confirms what I already know."

"Art is subjective, but my delivery is objective."

"Solitude gives time to reflect on one's excellence."

"Relationships are built on trust, honesty, and good communication."

"Inspiration strikes when you least expect it, like during a live broadcast."

"Motivation comes from within, or from a teleprompter."

"War is terrible, but great for viewership."