The Simpsons

"Family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten."

"Success is ninety percent showing up and ten percent... being chief."

"Change is good, unless it's changing the donut recipe."

"A true friend is someone who... reminds you to do stuff."

"I've learned that the best things in life are free. Except donuts."

"You can't spell believe without... lie."

"The truth is out there, and I'm gonna find it by eating donuts."

"Let's kick some... well, you know."

"Ralph, you're the perkiest little guy I know."

"Now that's what I call police work... doing stuff and preventing crime."

"I'm the chief of police, not the chief of making sense."

"Well, it's not rocket science. It's just police work."

"My boy's a little genius, even if I don't know what he's talking about."

"I'm going to turn this patrol car around and never come back!"

"That's a paddlin'."

"Marge, would you like to...? Oh wait, you're married."

"Everyone back to the pile on."

"Steamed hams? Why would they call it that?"

"I'm gonna go drive around for a while. Try not to commit any crimes."

"What are you in for, chief? Multiple counts of incompetence?"

"You might not be the smartest police officer, but you're in the top dozen."

"Let's pizza up that couple of donut holes."

"Everything is coming up Wiggum."

"Quiet! You're interfering with my nap."

"That's it! I'm calling the police... oh wait, I AM the police."

"I've always wondered what it would be like to be a cop."

"Ralph, stop licking that dog."

"Nothing you say can upset me. I'm the police."

"Use your words, people."

"I'll have another donut. No wait, make it ten."