The Simpsons

"We're grateful we're not worse off."

"We persist because what else can we do?"

"At least death would be a change of pace."

"We gave up on being beautiful decades ago."

"Sarcasm is the only thing keeping us alive."

"Our real dream is escaping our own lives."

"We're the best employees because we have no hope."

"Leaders are just failures in charge."

"We have faith that things will get worse."

"Good music is for people with good lives."

"Science can't fix our personalities."

"Fine art is wasted on the masses."

"Nature is beautiful from inside with air conditioning."

"Serenity is for those with actual lives."

"We're trapped by our own choices."

"The truth is nobody really cares what we think."

"Time passes slower when you're stuck in a routine."

"School taught us nothing useful about real life."

"We're not vain, we're just realistic about aging."

"Hope is for people with better luck."

"Selma's my best friend because nobody else will tolerate us."

"If we don't smoke, we'll have to feel our feelings."

"Dreams are just things that make disappointment worse."

"Love is what you tell yourself to justify staying."

"Work at the DMV is soul-crushing, but steady."

"Homer had the right idea about happiness—beer and stupidity."

"We peaked in high school, and it was terrible."

"Marge always got everything—the good husband, the decent kids."

"Another Springfield holiday, another reason to be disappointed."

"Solitude sounds wonderful compared to our lives."