The Simpsons

"History is replete with examples of villainy rewarded by fate itself."

"Imagination is the birthplace of all truly memorable criminal enterprises."

"Dreams are merely the manifestations of our deepest, most dangerous desires."

"Work ethic, combined with malicious intent, can move mountains."

"The legal system is a magnificent game for those clever enough to play it."

"Creativity flourishes in the darkest corners of human ambition."

"Gratitude is best expressed through elaborate acts of theatrical villainy."

"The television medium is a wasteland of mediocrity and mindless drivel."

"One must persevere despite the incompetence of those around you."

"Death, that ultimate freedom, awaits us all with patient inevitability."

"The heart of comedy lies in causing genuine suffering to one's enemies."

"I've found that money is far more satisfying when earned through nefarious means."

"Science and reason are the only reliable guides in this chaotic universe."

"The beauty of a perfectly executed plan lies in its inevitability."

"Friendship, in my experience, is a luxury few can afford when ambition calls."

"Despair is merely the price one pays for attempting genuine greatness."

"The law is a fascinating instrument, especially when one understands its every loophole."

"Time marches ever forward, indifferent to our petty grievances and grand designs."

"Shakespeare understood the human condition far better than any modern psychologist."

"One cannot deny the therapeutic value of elaborate revenge schemes."

"Parenting requires a certain... artistic temperament that most people simply lack."

"The pursuit of perfection often leads one down darker paths than anticipated."

"A life without Krusty the Clown would be infinitely more pleasant and dignified."

"Springfielders are a peculiar breed, lacking in both refinement and appreciation for culture."

"The theatrical arts have always been my true passion, above all other pursuits."

"Revenge, like a fine wine, is best served with patience and meticulous planning."

"One must never underestimate the power of a good book and a sharp intellect."

"Education is the cornerstone of civilization, though it often produces the most insufferable bores."

"The human spirit is a remarkable thing, capable of both great beauty and terrible destruction."

"Why, it's enough to drive one to homicidal mania!"