The Simpsons

"My hairdo has remained unchanged for decades. That's consistency."

"The news cycle never stops, and neither do I."

"I've covered everything from dog shows to disasters."

"Journalism is not just a job; it's a calling."

"The camera loves me, and I love the camera."

"A good news anchor knows when to talk and when to let others speak."

"The people of Springfield trust me, and I take that responsibility seriously."

"I stand by every word I've ever reported. Mostly."

"Whether in snow or in shine, the news must go on."

"My credibility is my most valuable asset."

"This is a developing situation, and we'll keep you updated."

"The truth is out there, and I'll find it. Eventually."

"Breaking news is like oxygen to a broadcaster."

"I've been nominated for seventeen Emmys. None of which I've won, but still."

"The public deserves to know what's happening in their town."

"In this business, timing is everything."

"A newsman is only as good as his last broadcast."

"I take pride in my work, my appearance, and my delivery."

"The ratings don't lie, and neither do I. Usually."

"This is Kent Brockman, your trusted voice in news."

"Remember, folks: if I haven't reported it, it didn't happen."

"I've weathered many storms in my career, both literal and metaphorical."

"The news waits for no man, except perhaps for commercial breaks."

"As a journalist, I must report the facts, even if they're boring."

"This just in: Springfield continues to be a model of normalcy."

"I've been in this business long enough to know a good story when I see one."

"The important thing is that I look good."

"Stay tuned for more news as it happens."

"Well, I'm sure this will all blow over by next week."

"In my thirty years of broadcasting, I've never seen anything quite like this."