The Simpsons

"I take great pride in my work here at the school."

"These children need structure and order."

"I find that a firm hand is necessary in matters of discipline."

"A principal must be firm, fair, and fashionable."

"Those children are our future, and they're in my hands."

"I've been the principal of Springfield Elementary for many years."

"Education is the most important thing in life."

"Mother says I'm a thoroughbred."

"You know, by some people's standards, I'm quite the ladies' man."

"Steamed hams. I call the lemonade steamed hams."

"Superintendent Chalmers, I can explain everything."

"I'm not a principal, I'm an educator... and a friend."

"The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few recess minutes."

"Responsibility is a burden I carry with quiet dignity."

"I have given everything to this school, including my personal life."

"My greatest achievement is maintaining Springfield Elementary's standards."

"Every rule in this school serves a purpose."

"I believe in the power of positive thinking, grudgingly."

"Dreams are valid as long as they don't interfere with school functions."

"Solitude at my desk helps me contemplate the weight of my position."

"Relationships should be professional, documented, and appropriate."

"Be inspired by my commitment to excellence and order."

"Motivation comes from understanding that rules exist for your benefit."

"War analogies help me explain school administration to others."

"Politics affects education, and I monitor it closely from my office."

"Literature provides examples of both virtue and the consequences of vice."

"Philosophy is interesting, but philosophy doesn't write lesson plans."

"History shows us the importance of strong leadership."

"Technology should enhance education, not replace discipline."

"Imagination is encouraged within reason and proper supervision."