The Simpsons

"Strength comes from having others do your bidding."

"Kindness is a luxury item I've never purchased."

"Patience is a virtue, but action is a strategy."

"Justice is whatever serves my interests at any given moment."

"Creativity is useful only if it generates profit."

"Gratitude is a weakness I simply cannot afford."

"Perseverance in the pursuit of wealth knows no bounds."

"Death is something that happens to other people, preferably my enemies."

"Beauty fades, but power and money are eternal."

"Humor is a sign of a weak mind. I rarely indulge in laughter."

"My dreams come true because I make them happen through ruthlessness."

"Work is a necessary evil I force upon others."

"A true leader never shares the credit, only the blame."

"Faith is for people who lack the courage to seize what they want."

"Music? Only if it's the sound of coins dropping into my vault."

"Science exists to serve my interests, nothing more."

"Art is a waste of money. Beauty is in the bottom line."

"Nature is lovely, but only as long as it doesn't interfere with my business."

"Freedom is just another word for 'my ability to do whatever I want.'"

"I have no hope for humanity. Nor should you."

"Education is a waste of time. What you need is experience... in being evil."

"Change is inevitable, but I'll do my best to prevent it."

"Courage? That's what fools call stupidity."

"Every decision I make is designed to maximize my profit margins."

"Your family is a burden on your success. Forget about them."

"I've always found that hard work never killed anyone, but why take the chance?"

"Happiness is just a warm gun... I mean, a warm fortune."

"Love is a four-letter word, and I'm a big fan of four-letter words."

"Time to make the donuts. I mean, time to count my money."

"Knowledge? I've had enough of that already."