The Simpsons

"Beauty fades, but being a jerk is forever."

"Dreams are for people with free time."

"Work is what other people do."

"My family tree is more like a forest of dysfunction."

"Change is annoying."

"Courage is overrated when you can just avoid scary stuff."

"Hope is just disappointment waiting to happen."

"Education? That's for losers."

"The strong survive, the weak get laughed at."

"Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy a lot of stuff."

"Love is a waste of time when you could be bullying."

"Life's too short to be nice all the time."

"Knowledge is power, and I've got none."

"Friendship is for people with actual friends."

"I'm not a bad guy, I'm just misunderstood."

"Remember, you're the best at being you."

"Eat my shorts, man."

"You're a nerd, and nerds are gay. I should know, I'm the most in-tune with my sexuality here."

"Ha-ha!"

"I'm going to be famous."

"You're a bad man, Jack Evans."

"I want to make a difference."

"The future is now!"

"I think we should all be friends."

"Thank you very much. You've all been a wonderful audience."

"All my hard work paid off."

"I'm a little teapot."

"I can't believe I ate the whole thing."

"The color is 'octarine'."

"I'm 10 and a half years old."