The Simpsons

"Creativity is what you get when you have too much time and too little sense."

"I'm grateful for everything I have, which isn't saying much."

"Perseverance is just another word for being too stubborn to quit."

"I'm not afraid of dying, I'm afraid of living another day like this."

"Beauty fades, but bad decisions are forever."

"If you can laugh at yourself, you don't need anyone else to do it for you."

"I think I was meant to do great things, but I'm too comfortable right now."

"The pursuit of happiness is exhausting, so I just sit and let it pass by."

"I'm not wise, I'm just old enough to have made all the mistakes."

"Change is the only constant, which is why I avoid changing anything."

"Love is when you can't imagine life without someone, which sounds terrible."

"Family is people you're stuck with, which is the best and worst part."

"I love my friends, even though I barely remember their names."

"The best leadership is no leadership, where everyone just does what they want."

"Power corrupts, but lack of power is even more depressing."

"I think the secret to success is not trying too hard and accepting failure."

"Death is just life's way of telling you you're too tired to continue."

"Justice is giving people what they deserve, unless they're my friends."

"Gratitude is when you appreciate what you have, which isn't much in my case."

"I think the greatest act of kindness is leaving people alone."

"Hope is a terrible thing because it keeps you going when you should just give up."

"Education is important, which is why I never finished school."

"Knowledge is power, but so is ignorance if you don't know about power."

"Music is the language of the soul, but I prefer the language of no talking."

"Science explains things, but not the important things like why we exist."

"Art is whatever you think it is, which is why I think beer is art."

"Nature is beautiful from far away, but I prefer my nature with a roof over my head."

"Peace is just what you call the time between wars and fights."

"True freedom is not having anyone tell you what to do."

"I believe in solitude, which is why I like being alone with my thoughts and my beer."