The Simpsons

"Inspiration usually comes when you're not looking for it, which is why I never look."

"The best motivation is knowing you might fail spectacularly."

"I think war would be better if they just fought with words instead of weapons."

"Politics is where you say one thing and do another, which is basically my entire life."

"Literature is great if you like reading things instead of living them."

"I believe in philosophy the way I believe in philosophy—not very much."

"History is full of lessons we never learn from, which is why it keeps repeating itself."

"Technology is ruining us. I miss the old days when things were simpler."

"Imagination is what makes life worth living, even if it's mostly imagining food."

"The greatest adventure is sitting in your chair thinking about adventures."

"I'm not sick, I'm just allergic to life."

"Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy beer, which is basically the same thing."

"I think real strength comes from knowing when to back down."

"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself... and also a lot of other things."

"I've never understood why people waste their time on dreams when they could be napping."

"If you're good at something, never do it for free."

"I think the secret to happiness is lowering your expectations."

"Good things come to those who wait, but only after you've waited a really long time."

"I'm not a coward, I'm just very cautious about my mortality."

"The most important thing in life is to have someone to blame."

"Sometimes I think I was born in the wrong time period."

"I think the greatest invention is the things that let you do things while doing other things."

"You can't buy love, but you can buy things that make you feel less alone."

"I'm not a religious man, but I do pray when things get really bad."

"The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now."

"Life's too short to not be happy, but long enough to be miserable."

"I've always wanted to be an astronaut, but I was afraid of falling out of the spaceship."

"Success is just failure that hasn't happened yet."

"I think the most beautiful thing in the world is a cold beer and a colder heart."

"The only reason I'm alive is because I'm too lazy to do anything about it."