The Simpsons

"Time is money, so every second I'm not performing is costing me!"

"Knowledge is power, but show business is money, and money is REAL power!"

"Education is important, but have you ever tried making a living off pratfalls?"

"Change is good, as long as it jingles in your pocket."

"Courage? I got plenty of that - especially when there's a camera pointed at me!"

"Hope is what keeps a man going when his comedy act isn't landing."

"Family? Bah! They're just people who expect you to remember their birthdays!"

"A true friend is someone who laughs at all your jokes, even the bad ones... and owes you money."

"Success isn't about talent, kid. It's about showing up and not getting arrested."

"Happiness is a warm gun... or in my case, a warm briefcase full of cash!"

"The wisest thing I ever learned was how to count money faster than the IRS."

"Love? That's for people who don't have enough money to keep themselves entertained!"

"Hey hey! Remember, kid, life is like a circus - chaotic, unpredictable, and somebody's always getting hurt!"

"That's the best day ever."

"Sometimes I wish I could be someone else."

"I appreciate everything you've done for me."

"Nothing will ever be the same again."

"I think I'll just sit here and think about things."

"You hurt my feelings and I'm never getting over it."

"I'm getting tired of being sad all the time."

"If at first you don't succeed, try again."

"I want to remember this moment forever."

"The world is a big place."

"I guess I'll never understand why people are the way they are."

"Today's the day I finally understand something."

"I've learned that friendship is the most important thing."

"Some people say I'm slow, but I prefer to call it thinking thoroughly."

"Mom was right all along."

"I wish I had an elephant."

"Every morning I wake up and make my choice to be happy."