The Simpsons

"Solitude is better than dealing with other people."

"Relationships are just elaborate disappointments."

"Inspiration comes and goes, mostly goes."

"Motivation is for people with direction."

"War and peace are equally unsatisfying."

"Politics is a joke, but nobody's laughing."

"Literature confirms that life is pointless."

"Philosophy is just depression with big words."

"History shows us that things have always been terrible."

"Technology will only find new ways to disappoint us."

"Imagination is wasted on the depressed."

"Adventure? We tried it once. Hated it."

"Health is just the slowest way to die."

"Power belongs to people with ambition. We have none."

"Fear keeps us from trying, which is actually comforting."

"Strength? We don't need strength, we have cigarettes."

"Patience is a virtue we abandoned years ago."

"Justice? Ha! We'll never see any."

"Creativity is wasted on people like us."

"We're grateful for nothing, which keeps us consistently disappointed."

"Perseverance is just suffering extended."

"Money can't buy happiness, but it buys cigarettes and gin."

"We're not unkind; we're just exhausted by life's nonsense."

"Knowledge just gives you more things to worry about."

"Change is inevitable, but unfortunately not always for the better."

"Courage is overrated when cowardice is so convenient."

"Hope is for people with better lives than ours."

"Dreams are what happen to other people."

"The truth is usually disappointing, so why bother learning it?"

"Education won't save you from a meaningless existence."