The Simpsons

"The measure of a man is his dedication to his position."

"I take pride in being irreplaceable."

"Devotion to one's employer is the truest form of loyalty."

"I've never understood the appeal of leisure time."

"Perfection in one's duties is the only acceptable standard."

"A single word of praise from Mr. Burns sustains me for weeks."

"I am my work, and my work is my identity."

"Excellence requires sacrifice, particularly of one's personal life."

"Love, family, friendship—these are distractions from true purpose."

"Admiration for one's superior is the highest form of professional respect."

"I find comfort in routine and predictability."

"The perfect employee anticipates needs before they are spoken."

"Time spent away from work is time wasted."

"One must never question authority—it only leads to complications."

"I've dedicated my life to being indispensable."

"A perfectly organized filing system is the foundation of civilization."

"Every day I wake up grateful for the opportunity to serve."

"Loyalty is a virtue too often forgotten in the modern workplace."

"I find great joy in the small moments of recognition from those above me."

"Excellence in administrative support is its own reward."

"A well-pressed suit can change your entire outlook on life."

"I live to serve my employer. It's not a job, it's a calling."

"Mr. Burns is the greatest man in the world, and I would do anything for him."

"My heart says yes but my brain says... donut."

"The badge and I are one. And we both smell like donuts."

"If we don't act now, disaster may strike at any moment. Which is likely anyway."

"I'm too fat to run, but I can walk really fast."

"You're under arrest for not being friends with me."

"I'd help, but I'd probably just make things worse."

"The law is whatever the strongest guy says it is."