The Simpsons

"Adventure awaits those brave enough to seek it, but I'm not brave."

"Health is the greatest wealth, but I'd trade mine for Mr. Burns' attention."

"Money can't buy love, but it can rent it for a few hours."

"Power corrupts absolutely, and I absolutely corrupt for power."

"The only thing to fear is fear itself, and Mr. Burns."

"Strength isn't about muscles; it's about enduring humiliation with a smile."

"Kindness costs nothing, but my kindness costs me my self-respect."

"Patience is a virtue, and I have nothing but time and Mr. Burns."

"Justice is best served by those with the most power, like Mr. Burns."

"Creativity thrives under pressure, and I'm under constant pressure."

"Gratitude for what you have is the path to happiness, or delusion."

"Never give up on your dreams, even if they're obsessive and unhealthy."

"In the end, we all return to dust, hopefully before Mr. Burns does."

"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and I behold Mr. Burns constantly."

"Comedy is tragedy plus time, and I've had plenty of both."

"Dreams come true if you work hard, unless you're working for someone else."

"Work gives purpose, and my purpose is giving Mr. Burns purpose."

"A true leader walks in front, and I follow two steps behind."

"Faith is believing when there's no evidence, like believing Mr. Burns respects me."

"Even in silence, music plays when Mr. Burns is near."

"Science proves that unrequited love is a form of insanity."

"Art imitates life, but life imitates Mr. Burns."

"Nature teaches us that some predators eat their prey, like Mr. Burns eats my soul."

"Peace is found in acceptance of the things you cannot change, like your boss."

"Freedom is just a word, but servitude is my reality."

"The truth will set you free, unless Mr. Burns doesn't want it to."

"Time flies when you're having fun, and drags when you're not near Mr. Burns."

"The more you know, the more you realize how little Mr. Burns cares."

"An education is important, but loyalty is priceless."

"The only constant in life is change, and Mr. Burns being awful."