The Simpsons

"It takes courage to admit your mistakes, but none to blame others for them."

"Every cloud has a silver lining, especially when Mr. Burns is in it."

"Family dinners are awkward, but serving Mr. Burns is always natural."

"I don't need friends; I have Mr. Burns' condescension to keep me warm."

"Wisdom is knowing when to speak and when to remain silent, preferably silent."

"The secret to happiness is low expectations and a flexible moral compass."

"My heart belongs to someone who has no idea who I am."

"Every day is a gift, especially if it involves seeing Mr. Burns."

"Solitude gives me time to think about Mr. Burns without distractions."

"Relationships require communication, which is why mine works so well."

"Inspiration strikes when you least expect it, like when Mr. Burns walks by."

"Motivation comes from within, or in my case, from a three-hundred-pound billionaire."

"War is terrible, except when Mr. Burns is winning."

"Politics divides, but my allegiance to Mr. Burns is bipartisan."

"Literature captures the human experience, but can it capture my experience?"

"Philosophy asks big questions, like why I love someone who doesn't love me."

"History remembers the great, and Mr. Burns shall be remembered."

"Technology advances, but my affection for Mr. Burns remains analog and pure."

"Imagination is wonderful, but reality with Mr. Burns is better."

"Adventure is out there, but I'm here, at my desk, where I belong."

"Health is wealth, but I'd sacrifice my health for Mr. Burns."

"Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy you time near Mr. Burns."

"Power corrupts, but Mr. Burns is worth the corruption."

"Fear is just love with nowhere to go, especially when directed at your employer."

"Strength comes from within, but mine comes from Mr. Burns."

"Kindness starts with small gestures, like bringing your boss a perfect martini."

"Patience is a virtue I've perfected waiting for Mr. Burns to notice me."

"Justice is served when Mr. Burns wins, regardless of the circumstances."

"Creativity flourishes when you have a muse, and mine is my boss."

"Gratitude is appreciating what you have, even if it's just proximity to Mr. Burns."