The Simpsons

"The fingers you have used to dial are too fat."

"I'm not normally a religious man, but if you're up there, save me, Superman!"

"Why is there bacon in the soap?"

"Mmm... beer."

"Stupid Flanders!"

"I could've been somebody, you know?"

"You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try."

"If something is hard to do, then it's not worth doing."

"I'm not a bad guy. I work hard, and I love my kids."

"Donuts. Is there anything they can't do?"

"To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems."

"Woo-hoo!"

"I'm so hungry I could eat at Arby's!"

"Mmm... donuts."

"Why you little!"

"D'oh!"

"The only truth I recognize is the truth in my bank statements."

"Smithers, if you ever betray me, I'll hunt you for sport."

"I've got two words for the poor: 'not my problem.'"

"The greatest invention since sliced bread is sliced bread's ability to make profit."

"When I die, my epitaph will simply read: 'He made a lot of money.'"

"Human suffering is just the cost of doing business."

"I would destroy the world for a single percentage point of growth."

"Retirement? That word has no meaning in my vocabulary."

"My greatest achievement is making others believe they need me."

"The only debate is how much money I'm making."

"I am the law around here. The real law is just a suggestion."

"Fear keeps the system running smoothly."

"Courage is unnecessary when you have money and lawyers."

"Patience is for those without power."