The Simpsons

"Patience is a virtue, one I practice while waiting for others to catch up."

"I believe in hope, but I also believe in backup plans and contingencies."

"The truth shall set you free, but the rules shall keep you in line."

"Courage is doing the right thing even when Mother disapproves."

"Change is inevitable, but it makes me very uncomfortable."

"Fear is a powerful motivator when applied correctly."

"I've never understood friendship, but I respect it from a distance."

"Knowledge is power, and power is what keeps this school running."

"The path to happiness is paved with good decisions and better filing systems."

"I am a man of principle, and those principles are what make me who I am."

"Time management is key to a productive life and school day."

"My heart belongs to education... and to Mother."

"Success comes to those who follow the rules and never question authority."

"I believe in discipline, structure, and the occasional public humiliation."

"A well-run school is like a well-run military operation."

"Mother knows best, and if Mother says jump, I ask how high."

"Rules exist for a reason, and that reason is order."

"I've dedicated my life to education, and by God, I'll see it through!"

"The squeaky wheel gets the grease, but the nail that sticks up gets hammered down."

"Detention is not a punishment, it's an opportunity for reflection."

"I'm Seymour Skinner, Principal of Springfield Elementary, and I run a tight ship."

"Solitude is the only honest relationship."

"Relationships are what test your patience most."

"Inspiration strikes like lightning—rarely and usually deadly."

"Motivation is what you fake until payday."

"War is awful, but at least it's honest about its intentions."

"Politics proves that democracy is just mob rule with voting."

"Literature is filled with people more interesting than anyone I know."

"Philosophy makes you question everything until you give up."

"History is just a record of people making the same mistakes."