The Simpsons

"Fear is just an emotion before the punch line."

"Strength comes from within - and from being a cat."

"Kindness is showing your victim where the exit is... after closing it."

"Patience is a virtue, especially when waiting in a hole."

"Justice is served with a side of violence."

"Creativity means thinking of new ways to cause pain."

"Gratitude is what the mouse should feel for each new torture."

"Perseverance means setting up the same trap 47 times."

"Death is just another cartoon gag waiting to happen."

"Beauty fades, but scars last forever."

"Humor is the best medicine - right after violence."

"Dreams are just goals with more potential for disaster."

"Work hard, play hard, destroy harder."

"A leader doesn't follow - they lead with their claws."

"Faith is believing the next trap will finally work."

"Music to my ears is the sound of a mouse screaming."

"Science proves that cats always land on their feet - unless they're falling."

"Art is expressing yourself through violence and slapstick."

"Nature's beauty can be appreciated right before you destroy it."

"Peace is just the absence of mousetraps."

"Freedom is doing whatever you want with whatever weapons you have."

"The truth hurts, but so does a sledgehammer."

"Time waits for no one, especially not my victims."

"Knowledge is power, but power tools are better."

"Education teaches you the best ways to cause mayhem."

"Change is inevitable - usually caused by explosives."

"True courage is facing a chainsaw with only a frying pan."

"Hope springs eternal, unlike my victims."

"Family sticks together, especially when covered in tar."

"Friendship means never having to say 'I'm sorry' before you hit them."