The Simpsons

"Happiness is getting what you want when you want it!"

"You want wisdom? Buy my book - it'll cost you, but it's worth it!"

"Love makes the world go round, but money makes it spin faster!"

"Life's a stage, and I'm the main act!"

"The best jokes are the ones that sell merchandise!"

"I don't do anything without a contract, a lawyer, and an upfront payment!"

"Success is spelled M-O-N-E-Y, kid!"

"Never work for free - that's a good rule for life!"

"The audience is everything - they're the ones with the wallets!"

"Solitude is just time to count your money in peace!"

"Relationships are great until someone asks you for money!"

"Inspiration comes from knowing you're gonna get paid!"

"Stay motivated, kid - there's money to be made out there!"

"War? That's what happens when you don't have a good agent to negotiate peace!"

"Politics - it's just show business for ugly people!"

"Literature? That's what I read - the fine print on my contracts!"

"Philosophy is just thinking about why you don't have enough money!"

"History shows that clowns always come out on top!"

"Technology? I just need a microphone and a spotlight!"

"Imagination is fine, but I prefer cold, hard reality - the reality of money!"

"Adventure is nice when you're getting paid for it!"

"Health insurance? That's what my money's for!"

"Money talks, and let me tell you, it says wonderful things!"

"Power is the ability to say no to a bad gig and still get paid!"

"Fear? The only thing I fear is going broke!"

"Strength comes from knowing you've got a good contract!"

"Kindness is nice, but profit margins are nicer!"

"Patience is waiting for the check to clear!"

"Justice? That's what lawyers are for!"

"Creativity is just knowing how to sell the old stuff as something new!"